It’s compelling to believe that now, more so than at any point in our history, it’s possible for each and every one of us to find The One. If not The One, then perhaps close to The One. Very close. After all, surely that person is out there, with thousands and thousands of eligible singlets on a plethora of dating sites – both niche and mainstream.
Plenty-of-Fish, eHarmony, OkCupid, Lavalife, Match.com, JDate.com, certainly amongst these online stores everyone can find their perfect match, the perfect size, the perfect fit? No?
I have a number of friends who have met their relationship partners through online dating, and the relationships formed have been loving and long-lasting. I think that’s awesome. I will readily admit that I use online dating, and I will continue to do so. But I have come to realize, recently, that I have fallen into a trap. I wonder, how many other people have fallen into the same trap?
It seems that dating, for lack of better works, has become …. commoditized.
It’s the search for the elusive perfect match, The One, that has led people – men and women – to treat dating like shopping.
Not satisfied with a recent date because she’s brunette and you’ve come to realize that you really prefer blondes? Then fine, there are plenty of blondes out there. Back to eHarmony.
Although you really like the arts, perhaps he’s not quite into them as you are? Whatever the reason, there’s certainly someone who has a stronger interest on OKCupid.
Go on a date that was actually quite fun, but still she’s still “only” an 7 out of 10? Well, get out your iPhone and find that 9 or 10. Go! Get to it!
It can be an ongoing cycle, really. “One and done” dates, with the feeling that somewhere out there, in galaxy not far away, you will find “The One”.
But, what if?
What if the brunette truly is awesome, in every other way that you want your ideal woman to be awesome?
What if he just hasn’t had the same exposure to the arts as you’ve had, and he really does have a keen interest?
What if she was really nervous on the date, as people tend to be, and she wasn’t completely herself? What if she is the star you’re looking for?
I believe online dating is great, and I am fortunate to have met some great women as a result.
I also believe that too many people now treat online dating like shopping and maybe, just perhaps, these people are too quickly passing judgement when meeting others. Clicking through to the Next One, instead of investing more time to see if the current one might be The One.